I got Married!

I feel older, wiser and more confident than I have ever felt before. Not only in myself, but in my path of life. Alongside my husband I will be. It was a perfect day, would have been better if there were more hours in the day. We laughed, we cried, we canoed down a river, had the ceremony under an arbor with flowers all around and it was gorgeous. It was so beautiful, I was beautiful, and everyone around me too. there were horses and gardens and a caring loving new family I was entering that gave it a glow of warmth that I am so thankful for.

We had some rain, some clouds and then this incredible rainbow…There was good luck all around and singing and dancing under a black light even. There were shots of Yager and G&T’s, a bonfire and a sauna and swimming in the river and hanging out on the dock in the dark completed the night. Pulled beef buns, and chocolate cake and some of the best homemade Greek food I have ever tasted and all the ingredients were fresh from the garden. I watched them pull the cucumbers myself the night before.

There were little touches of love and inspiration in moments of time, in flower arrangements, in napkin ring holders and poems. I will add the words to my most favourite poem in the world now. The one my grandfather wrote for Jon and I a week before the big day.

With my family by my side and my best friend smiling me on, I was the true "me" throughout the day and night.

I couldn’t have hoped for a better man to love and commit myself to, on a more perfect day to declare it to one another.

Life is a feeling

There is so much exciting things going on right now I wonder how it will be when it all dies down. Does it ever really die down though, I mean the reality is that life is filled with so much “stuff”. Even if it is just “stuff”, like day to day, we love our lives mostly. I have been thinking about life a little these days. Is life worth it to live, even if we are given a really horrible life? Of course, definition of horrible can be certainly misconstrued therefore perhaps not a fair question. But what is life worth? No matter how long or quality of life – is it still better to have lived?

 

For me, life is like this insanely amazing place. I have always thought I have felt a lot of life. In growing pains where I would cry for hours and not know why (hormones) and other types of pain - physical pain (emergency root canal), emotional pain (losing relationships), mental (scared, confused, angry). But even when I was going through painful times of my life, I remember thinking how lucky and what an experience this was, to feel so much of something. I think that has been my most prized life possession, the ability to feel pain and happiness, both equally.

I know in my most painful times and at my most happy times I would find a tree or a lake, a piece of grass in a park, something in nature to soothe and comfort me. I feel so free and so much more at ease in those places, close to ducks or water lilies, even if I have to run or walk to get there and soak it in. They mention these days and ages the deficit of nature in young humans and I am fascinated in this revelation; however, absolutely not surprised.  

Anyway, more and more as I go through life and experience these happy (and sad) life experiences, I think about what a gift we are given every day. To wake up and walk around, think independently, eat good whole foods, wash ourselves, take care of ourselves, look at nature, visit with the ones we love, sleep with the ones we love, in a bed, in a clean home, etc, these are the true gifts in life. We live this privileged life that is so fantastical, it is really almost ridiculous. It is like a dream and we should be thanking the stars every night for giving us this treat, this sample of the world that encompasses us and does its best to give us a fresh day, every day.

I believe that if life only gave you one thing and that thing was to experience a feeling, that life would still be worth living. 

Happy Canada Day!

It’s CANADA DAY tomorrow and Robin’s birthday AND Amy is in town. Promising to be fun. Not only that but me and Cynnie are going up to the property! It has been forever since I have been up and been in the water, totally looking forward to that and hanging out with my sis.

My life lately has been stressful because of work, so I really feel like I need this time off to recoup.

My trip home deserves its own post and I really am going to make the time soon to give it what it deserves. My parents are my heros and I love them so much. They threw me the party of my lifetime and I will never forget it. I am so thankful I have this loving and beautiful family that surrounds me (this includes my old friends – because they will always be a part of my family too). And new to my family is my husband-to-be (in 6 weeks!). He is over the moon with excitement and happiness, which melts my heart from the inside out.

A salut to all Canadians that I love this weekend. Happy Canada Day.

xoxoxoxoxoox

Not easy having a blog.

It’s not easy having a blog – there is guilt involved when you do not keep it updated, and to be honest it is a commitment. The reason I wanted to have a blog in the first place is try to capture moments/times in my life so that I could reflect upon them when I need/want to. I find it such an amazing fact of the  world right now, that we have the technology to keep our words preserved until the end of time. That is what the fact really is. Websites providing this service are really storing individuals day to day history, forever. It is pretty far out when I think that we wouldn’t of ever predicted that we would have capabilities like this 30 or so years ago, reminds me of Margret Atwood.

I am going to post more in the next months, mark my words (and store them for ever)...ha ha ha

A letter to Jon - from HWY 417

So what is more lame…getting backended on the 417 in the middle of rush hour or waiting on the 417 for the cops to show up? Yes – you got it. They are equal in their lameness. It is seriously not my day. I need a drink.

So hows my guy…wish I could call you right now, but no cell to speak of. And therefore the highway hanging out is all I got here and I can use my word and write you a little letter and feel a bit better and a bit more productive then doing absolutely nothing but staring and traffic passing us. I even had a guy yet out “Idiot” to me. Great. Thanks buddy, yah, its all my fault isn’t it? I am the one in front. I automatically win. The guy behind me loses; it isn’t rocket science who is in fault here.

Anyway, whatever, its 30 degrees, sunny…who wouldn’t want to be in hot traffic smelling exhaugst and wanting water. Maybe this is what I get for being so cute. Ha ha ha. I mean though in the big sheme of things I got it so good, so this is a like a little “dent” (pardon the pun) to make it even in the long run. I don’t know about that, but lets go with it.

The bumper on the Element looks like ass – sorta evens out the dings in the sides I guess. The car makes noises like its from 1995, and the clutch still squeeks. Matt says that sometimes it goes away – maybe it’s the way I drive it, that is what my Dad might say. SO the funny thing is that the windshield whiper fluid light is on, and the check maintenance light. Also with my experience with my Dad’s car last week – the wind shield washer was out there as well. Funny yet retarded. But hey, that sums up my family some times.

Oh – I see cops in the distance – hope they are mine.

By the way - the guy who rear ended me was nice enough to take a picture with his iphone and send it to me via email so that I have memories for ever. awesome.

Work is Crazy

Shoot - I hardly have time for this. And yet here is is 8pm and I am still at work - crazy right? Well, I did just get back to work after a work out and dinner :)

But it is true my work is nuts right now. If I do not have this solution design that I am heading across the country to demo, right, I think I might burst into tears right in front of the client, which would be pretty silly and highly embarressing.

HOWEVER, I have been put on the spot in phone conferences suggesting that this onsite visit will determine the project success up to this point. Yikes.

Well, that being said, back to work!!!

Thankfully I have a wedding to get drunk at, with 5 of my closest girlfriends in the world, and they will make me laugh and forget the stressses that await the next week.

Who are we kidding? What stresses? It's going to be fine. I am Pro. My solution design is tight.
A - 1.

ps Keep your fingers crossed for me.

xoxoxoxoxo
sacha

Ode to Sombrio

I went surfing on Thursday after work and I think tomorrow (holiday Monday) might be worth a trip up for a  sunset surf. I have been realizing lately what a stress reducer my time in the water is - specifically at Sombrio beach. In the water I do not really think about anything except the waves, or the water, or the birds, or the whales (that I may or may not see). I guess I might think about my technique and my wave count and who is around me in the water, but not tons. And I do not want to talk too much and usually, the others surfers do not either. A nod, a smile, a little, hey hows it going, usually does it.

And then when I get out and I reflect about my time in the water from the beach, looking back at the breaking waves that I was just in, I think how clear my head is. How every worry that was on my mind earlier had just melted away. That it is all OK. Walking up the trail back to the parking lot, gazing up at some of the oldest protected trees on the island I feel so light, so happy. I feel in touch with nature, in touch with myself that I almost I feel giddy. I feel reflective and young. I feel like I could do anything, handle any situation. To be honest, retrospecitively, it is almost like I find life's meaning there. That somewhere in my subconcious I have discovered the secret to life, my life anyway. And I am in a state of devine peace. It sounds "too much" maybe, but it is a true feeling that I have and I want to make myself accountable for it. To remember it and treasure it. I do have a strong belief and have for along time that nature is my god. One day I will write on that one and try to articulate what that means.

I know now for sure where I will go at any time in my life where I feel like I "cannot take it anymore". It's funny cause I have been surfing at Sombrio for 8 years now, and the feeling of comfort and love and peace gets stronger and stronger every time I am there. It is way to beautiful, the trees are way too big. You feel like a small thing in this world and maybe that is why your worries vanish into thin air, because in the big picture up there, they do not mean anything. I can understand why people have just wanted to live there and have lived there. I think it is a special place, with special powers.

I think I am very lucky that I have found a place that I can escape the city to go to; arrive in less than two hours and know without a doubt I will leave with a complete sense of utter healing.